Crazy! This dropped in my inbox just moments after talking to my therapist at length about jealousy. Thanks for the reminder that this affliction comes for all of us!
I've come to really appreciate jealousy and look at it like breadcrumbs. Every time I'm jealous, it points me more deeply into the direction I want to go. My ego may not necessarily be onboard for the ride - but jealousy is usually a pretty good barometer of true desire.
Oh I love this! I am also often fueled by my jealousy. Like the reason that person sold a script is because they wrote something undeniable. So now I set a goal to try and do the same!
Ahhh. Comparitis. I've suffered from it so many times. I used to write for a publisher who regularly pitted we authors against one another. There were tiers we could aspire to but no one really knew the criteria. I was told I was up for 'promotion' along with someone else. They gave it to the someone else. This is the same publisher that purposefully kept me from getting bigger, but regardless, I wanted to despise this author, but I knew it wasn't her fault. I made myself become friendly with her, because if I liked her I couldn't begrudge her the success. It's not because I'm such a good person, I just didn't want the bastards to win. lol.
I think you hit on something, Hollie. It's not that we don't think these other people deserve their success it's that we want success for ourselves. It's too easy to wonder why it's not happening for us and when you throw in that lovely thing called ADHD its far too easy to forget the successes you've had, so the good stuff happening to other people is magnified.
I haven't figured out how to stop Comparitis but I have learned to make sure it doesn't last too long.
think it was easier once we chose different paths. Heather was better at almost everything in school so I really had to work extra hard to be just as good. But we’ve both definitely had jealous moments!
Thanks Mark! I'll add I was so jealous of Hollie for quite a while since she got staffed while I was still an assistant. Maybe we need to a guest twin substack? :)
Too real!! I find it even for small day-to-day details. John and I try to use it for motivations- we both find if we set a comparable page count it pushes us both. ESPECIALLY if we're in the room together. What he wrote ten pages today, I'm only gonna write eight??
Crazy! This dropped in my inbox just moments after talking to my therapist at length about jealousy. Thanks for the reminder that this affliction comes for all of us!
I've come to really appreciate jealousy and look at it like breadcrumbs. Every time I'm jealous, it points me more deeply into the direction I want to go. My ego may not necessarily be onboard for the ride - but jealousy is usually a pretty good barometer of true desire.
Oh I love this! I am also often fueled by my jealousy. Like the reason that person sold a script is because they wrote something undeniable. So now I set a goal to try and do the same!
Ahhh. Comparitis. I've suffered from it so many times. I used to write for a publisher who regularly pitted we authors against one another. There were tiers we could aspire to but no one really knew the criteria. I was told I was up for 'promotion' along with someone else. They gave it to the someone else. This is the same publisher that purposefully kept me from getting bigger, but regardless, I wanted to despise this author, but I knew it wasn't her fault. I made myself become friendly with her, because if I liked her I couldn't begrudge her the success. It's not because I'm such a good person, I just didn't want the bastards to win. lol.
I think you hit on something, Hollie. It's not that we don't think these other people deserve their success it's that we want success for ourselves. It's too easy to wonder why it's not happening for us and when you throw in that lovely thing called ADHD its far too easy to forget the successes you've had, so the good stuff happening to other people is magnified.
I haven't figured out how to stop Comparitis but I have learned to make sure it doesn't last too long.
Ahh comparitis! An affliction I’m well versed in. That publisher sounds like the pits!
Would also be interested to read about your thoughts on being compared to each other as twins! Something my twin John and I know a little about too
think it was easier once we chose different paths. Heather was better at almost everything in school so I really had to work extra hard to be just as good. But we’ve both definitely had jealous moments!
Totally heard- you two rock and love reading your content!! Thanks!!
Thanks Mark! I'll add I was so jealous of Hollie for quite a while since she got staffed while I was still an assistant. Maybe we need to a guest twin substack? :)
Too real!! I find it even for small day-to-day details. John and I try to use it for motivations- we both find if we set a comparable page count it pushes us both. ESPECIALLY if we're in the room together. What he wrote ten pages today, I'm only gonna write eight??
Yes plz sign me up for the guest spot coach I'm ready to play!!